"My Mother Thinks You're A Demon!"
“My Mother thinks you’re a demon.”
I looked at him with an eyebrow raised and what was most certainly a perturbed look on my face.
“Why on earth would someone even think such a thing?” I asked.
an evil spirit or devil, especially one thought to possess a person or act as a tormentor in hell.
synonyms: devil, fiend, evil spirit; More
another term for daemon1 (sense 1).
Now lets take a moment to pause before we move forward. Anyone who knows me, and has certainly known me for a LONG amount of time knows that I’m stubborn, I’m blunt, very bold, extremely outspoken, but above all else I LOVE BIG. Even to the ones that have wronged me in this life.
I may be A LOT of things, and may have done A LOT of things in this life that weren’t up to the satisfaction of others. But the beauty in that is at the end of the day I wasn’t worried about impressing anyone but the good Lord anyhow. If you want to know where that stems from you can blame my Papaw, but since he isn’t with us anymore I would prefer that you keep your judgements to yourself. Now like I said I may be A LOT of things, but a DEMON definitely isn't one of them.
My Papaw told me once when he caught me roaming around his yard on Johnson Rd in Three Rivers, MI that my smart mouth & hot temper most certainly came from my Daddy. He also told me that he had half a mind to take his belt off and give me a lickin’ for walking through the parts of the garden my Momma’ told me not to. He told me he knew so because he heard her tell me to stay out of it before I walked out the door.
I remember staring at him terrified because the man looked 15 ft tall standing over top of me. Here stood a man that could MOST certainly knock me into not only next week, but probably next year if he really wanted to. I mean after all he was big enough to. He told me he had been around long enough to know that my Momma’ had done taught me wrong from right, and that I had best start acting like it if I was ever going to walk a good path with the Lord.
I took those words to heart. My Papaw was a good man, and he MUST know what he was talking about since his relationship with the Lord was definitely a strong one. After all he was lucky enough to talk to God on a PERSONAL level ALL the time! For the rest of the time I was there I didn’t stray far from his side if I could help it. When he carried his Bible, I carried mine. Mine being the small compact kind you could get for FREE during Sunday School. The ones that they give to kids so that if they color in it or they lose it, it doesn’t cost them much to replace it. Plus it only had the New Testament, but I didn’t know any better at the time. Frankly I probably wouldn’t have cared even if someone had tried to tell me different anyway.
I followed his every move. He put on his scarf before he sat in his chair, and I went and found an OLD, DUSTY, scarf in the back of the closet and put it on before I crawled up on the couch. He opened his Bible, I opened mine. He studied his, and I would watch him from the corner of my eye and then look at the tiny words on the paper in front of me pretending to study mine. (Mind you I was barely old enough to read at the time, let alone understand what I was looking at in front of me.) When the football game would come on and he would study the football game, I would study him watching the football game. I used to believe that the Lord had some GRAND LESSON in the game he was watching that would set him up for his next sermon. Little did I know back then that he was just watching Football.
He was one of the kindest, gentlest men that I ever had the pleasure of knowing. His heart was pure, and if I were given 5 more minutes with him today I would tell him just that. Over the years when he would see me, of course he would age, but he never really changed. His hands, his hugs, his voice, it would all stay the same. He loved his family, but he LOVED the GOOD LORD more. It was his greatest desire to make sure that each of us had called upon Jesus to live in our hearts. That we had called upon the Lord to walk with us so that we could all be together one day when Christ came to call each of us home.
It was usually one of the very first and very last questions he would ask upon his arrival or departure. "Did you ask Jesus into your heart Child?" He would always ask with a smile on his face, and what was most certainly a prayer in his heart. Even still I wonder now how many nights that man prayed for my very soul. For me to find my way, for peace, for SOMETHING to give. I honestly believe he just REALLY wanted to KNOW in his heart before he left this Earth that I was saved and Jesus had a place in my life.
It has taken a long time for me to get to this point in my life. A point where no one can hold my past or the things that I have or have not done against me. Those things make up a part of who I am, but they won’t ever define who I will become. Not if I don’t let them. If I learned anything from my Papaw and anything from my journey in this life it is this one simple fact: We are ALL sinners. No one better than the other, and no one more worse off than the next. WE ALL SIN.
Romans 3:23 ~ For all have sinned and fall short the glory of God.
Romans 3:10 ~ As it is written “None is righteous, no, not one.”
So to hear that someone thought I was a demon, a "REAL LIFE" demon, made me seriously stop in my tracks and pause for a moment.
What gives someone else the right to say such things?
How does one even come to such a conclusion without ever having met me in REAL LIFE anyway?
Yes. You read that correctly. She pulled her basis of me off of Facebook. Now keep in mind we were not friends on Facebook, so the only things that she could have and would have seen would be things that were open to the public on my profile from when I originally opened my Facebook in 2007/2008 and anything that happened to get shared publicly after that point.
It also meant that because we weren't friends she had to "STALK" my profile to even find such things. An account that has since been replaced with my professional account that is linked to this blog, as the previous one no longer serves a purpose. Standing there shaking my head judging her for judging me was getting me NO WHERE.
I honestly had no words for what I had just heard. Facebook. Honestly. That could not be the ONLY reason a person would have such judgement and basis for another life. He could not be serious? Could he? Was he? I had no clue what to do in the moments after that, I was a tad disorientated over what I had just heard. Standing there trying to balance my thoughts I literally was at a loss with no idea what to do next.
So instead I did the one thing I knew how to do, I prayed.
I prayed for direction. I prayed for her. I prayed for him, because having to deal with such hate in another person’s heart brings upon a spiritual ware fare that sometimes we just aren’t prepared to face. Most of all I prayed for peace. Peace for her to let go of whatever discontent was in her heart. Peace for whatever anger had a hold on her and wouldn’t let go. Peace from the devil’s grip, because he most definitely had his hands upon her shoulders and he was whispering in her ear.
I prayed for God to give me a sign on how to deal with what it was I was facing and how to deal with it. All that kept replaying in my mind like a film on repeat was “FORGIVE.” I learned in those moments that it wasn’t for me to understand what she was feeling, or why she was judging. It wasn’t for me to know why her heart was hardened or what had happened along the way that made her feel like she was capable of judging others.
My job was, still is, and always will be: TO WANT WHAT GOD WANTS.
Once you break free from the burdens of your past, move on from the things that once held you captive you learn that those things can NO LONGER be used against you. You learn how FREEING it is to move forward free from those sins and NOT look back at them. They will always be a part of how you came to be, but the Lord died on the cross so that we could be live an eternal life free from the sin that burdens our daily lives.
I choose to move forward, and to anyone who chooses to stay in one place stuck with my sin and focused on that and the judgement you feel you should carry with it, I say this: I will continue to pray for you. Today, tomorrow, in this life, and the next if that is what must be done. I hope that through prayer your heart softens, your mind is at ease, and you find peace in yourself to break free from your own past & judgements so that you can see that eternal glory awaits you as well. As it has been, and as it always will be, His Grace is ALWAYS ENOUGH. May God be with you always on your journey. I wish you well.
2 Timothy 4:22 ~ The Lord be with your spirit. Grace be with you.
For the rest of you, I hope you find the strength you need today, and that where ever your journey leads you, you go with a thankful and gracious heart.
Philippians 4:13 ~ I can do ALL things through Christ who strengthens me.