A New Beginning.....
“You can make a lifetime of memories in a matter of seconds Rebecca. Take pictures. LOTS of pictures. The moments go by SO fast, and before you know it they are GONE. Once they are gone you can’t get them back. Sometimes all you have to look back on is the photos, the memories, those few select moments that you captured in time. The rest of the moments and memories eventually slip away with time, but the ones that you do manage to capture in photos you will be able to remember forever. TAKE LOTS OF PICTURES.”
My mother said those very words to me when I was 18 years old. I was a NEW Momma’ Bear to Mickayla and still learning every single day what parenting was even about. My biggest Little and I have come pretty far since those days. It is almost surreal to look back on who and where her and I were vs. where we stand at this very moment.
This weekend as I stood looking at a young woman get ready for prom I was overcome with emotions. It was hard to believe that this would be her VERY last High School Prom. The very last time I watched as she carefully did her make-up, hair, nails, the whole entire thing. It went by SO fast….
The day before I was standing on the side of the road in Trout Lake working, having a pretty amazing conversation with God about just how far her and I have come. Thanking him for the never ending blessings he has given to her brothers, her and I.
When I asked him if I was sending her out into the world with ENOUGH, did I DO ENOUGH, did I give ENOUGH, did I love ENOUGH, was my advice ENOUGH, he whispered back, “It was always enough.”
So I asked, “Then why do I feel like I am missing something? Like there is something else, something that completes the circle. What am I missing Lord? You have to give me a sign, because I just feel like I am missing something here!”
I turned to put my equipment back into my work truck and my ring caught the corner of the tailgate. As I looked down to see if it had hurt the ring or my finger a voice said, “It is time Rebecca.”
I looked up at the sky and said, “Really? It is that obvious?!” I shook my head, said, “Ok. I can do that.” and headed for home.
4 years ago after I filed for divorce I ordered the ring pictured below after turning in my wedding set not knowing what I would receive back in return. When I spoke to the lady on the phone she asked if I had any special requests other than a NEW ring.
I told her NOT to use any stones from my wedding set, to make my new ring more beautiful than the previous one, and to design it in such a way that NO wedding band could EVER be worn with it.
I wanted it to be special. So special in fact that it was never to be taken off or replaced with any other ring until MUCH later in life. Only a holy act of God was going to get it off of my finger, because it certainly wasn't going to be a man!
It was weeks before I received it back, and when I opened that little blue box it exceeded ALL of my expectations! I had never seen a ring more beautiful in my entire life, and I immediately named it my “New Beginning” Ring.
It would serve as a CONSTANT reminder of where I had been, what I had been through, what I had managed to survive, and just how far I had actually come.
Anyone who knows me or followed my story during that portion of my life knows the importance of that very piece of jewelry and the place it served in my life during that time.
This weekend I passed that very ring onto my only daughter.
Saturday was the very last prom that she would attend, and even though graduation is still a week away I wanted her to have it to complete her outfit, and so that her LAST Prom is now an "official" reminder of a new beginning for her.
I could not have been prouder of that beautiful little lady when she opened that box and said, “Mom isn’t this your ring?”
“Yes, Yes Sweetheart it is my ring. However Mickayla, it is now YOUR ring. Happy Early Graduation Baby Girl!” I said
“Why are you giving this to me Mom?” she asked
“Well Pumpkin, you are standing on the threshold of your OWN “New Beginning” and it is only fitting that it gets passed to you. As my only daughter it rightfully belongs to you, and I really want for you to have it. Take good care of it always Meesh, it has served its purpose in my life, and I hope that it does the same for you.” I said
“THANK YOU SO MUCH MOM!” she said
You see when I brought that ring home 4 years ago the very same look you see in the picture above was also on Mickayla’s face. I knew that one day I would pass it down to her so that she would always have a piece of me with her where ever she may go on her journey. I had hoped to give it to her on her wedding day, but God is funny like that. He always has different plans for us even when we think we know what is best.
I have worn that ring every single day for the last 4 years and honestly never really gone anywhere without it. On the day that it arrived 4 years ago if you had told me that I would one day slip that ring off my finger, clean it ever so carefully, put it back in the box, wrap it, and then write out a letter to my daughter just 4 short years later, I would have never believed it. I never thought I would give it up so easily, but the reality is it was easier than one would think.
Watching Mickayla slip it on her finger, seeing that it fit her perfectly, watching how elegant it looked upon her long fingers, I knew in a heartbeat it was actually MADE for her. It now symbolizes a “New Beginning” for us both, and even now with tears in my eyes I could not be prouder of either of us.
Next week I will watch as my Baby Girl walks the stage to accept her High School Diploma. What was once my tiny 6 lb 3 ¼ oz. tiny force of nature is now a Full Grown Woman on a mission to conquer and explore the world. She has taught me some of my greatest lessons in life, the biggest being what TRUE LOVE really actually is.
You can make a lifetime of memories in a matter of seconds….
How so very true that statement is.
As my Baby Girl stands on the horizon of a whole new world, I am about to learn what life is like with her hours away at college. Her and I managed BIG things in this life together! This journey hasn’t always been the easiest or the smoothest, but I wouldn’t trade it for anything in the entire world!
I never dreamed in a million years as a single mom I would be purchasing her a car to go out and explore the world with, but last week we did it!
To which I have to add this; Do not ever stop believing in yourself, your dreams, your journey, your destination. NO MATTER WHAT. Life is made to be experienced, so get out there and LIVE.
We only get to do this ONE TIME around, and if you can’t live your life and TRULY be happy, maybe it is time for you to look into starting your own “New Beginning.”
You only stay stuck if you choose to, and believe me LIFE STARTS RIGHT OUTSIDE YOUR COMFORT ZONE!
SO GET OUT THERE AND START REALLY LIVING!!!!
Much Love To Each Of You!